Deciding to get a divorce can be a very tough decision, and sometimes it’s made all the more difficult because of the false, and often discouraging, divorce myths floating around. Between social media enabling us to see so much of everyone’s personal lives, and various celebrity divorces plastered on magazines, some common misconceptions about divorce have flourished.
In an effort to clear things up a bit, and to help those considering a divorce find more fact and less fiction, we’ve put together a few common divorce myths.
1. There is always one person to blame for a divorce
Divorce happens for a variety of reasons, and every single situation is different. Every couple has their own dynamics and their own way of doing things, so the only people who can truly attest to how the marriage ended, is either of them. And, even then, one spouse may only see their side of the incident and could misplace the blame entirely on the shoulders of the other spouse.
In most situations, a couple divorces because of mistakes or changes both parties made. Perhaps they both grew apart, or perhaps one spouse became less committed and the other spouse strayed. Regardless of the reasons, the saying “it takes two to tango” is almost always fitting in divorce issues.
2. If you and your spouse argue, you’re next
Arguments aren’t always a sign of a troubled marriage. In many cases, arguing is healthy, because it indicates the couple is communicating about their differing opinions, giving voice to their beliefs, and trying to come to an agreement. Marriage is far from a fairytale. It is hard work to make a relationship work, especially when bills pile up and daily life takes its toll. However, if arguments become increasingly frequent and the couple isn’t able to agree or find common ground, this can indicate a communication problem.
3. Having a baby can save your marriage
Children are not tools to be used as a possible solution to any relationship issue. A couple should never choose to have a child in order to save their marriage and, if anything, having children will you’re your marriage more difficult. Adding a child to the mix when a relationship is already rocky can only serve to make things more strained between you and your significant other. Moreover, if you and your spouse do divorce, you’ll now have to negotiate child custody, support, and other issues that come with divorcing when you share a child. In short, a child will not save your marriage, only you and your spouse can do that.
4. The mother is always awarded child custody
It is true that mothers do receive full or primary custody more often, but it is most certainly not always the case. In the event that a couple is unable to negotiate child custody terms amongst themselves, the issue will go to court. The court will always consider the best interest of the child, and place him or her to the shared care of both parents, or to the care of the parent who is better qualified. If, for example, the mother has a record of domestic abuse, or is not financially stable, the court will likely not award her primary custody.
5. Divorce is always expensive
While divorce can be expensive, it doesn’t need to be. If a couple is able to come to an agreement about the division of assets, custody, alimony, and any other central issues, they’ll likely be able to avoid court. Without court fees, the couple will only need to pay an attorney to help them with the legalities, essentially signing the paperwork, which is much more affordable.
Even if a couple is unable to come to an agreement about everything, they may still choose to do mediation as a budget-friendly alternative to litigation. A mediator can help a couple negotiate the terms of their divorce fairly, without ever having to go to court and pay costly fees. In general, mediation is much less expensive, and quicker, than divorce through court.
If you and your spouse are considering a divorce, our divorce attorneys can help. Our firm is located in Boca Raton, Florida, and we proudly help clients throughout Palm Beach and Broward Counties. Contact Schuttler, Greenberg & Mullins, LLC today to find out what our lawyers can do for you.