Most people have heard divorce horror stories involving bankruptcy, protracted court battles, the depletion of marital assets, and all-out-divorce wars. Perhaps you’ve heard these stories first-hand from friends or family, or perhaps you lived it as a child of divorce. Often, these tales of tragedy and financial ruin will lock doubtful spouses in unhappy marriages for years because they fear that if they pull the plug on their marriage, they too will become another sad tale.
But alas, divorce does not have to end this way. While there are countless examples of bad divorces, there are also examples of spouses who went their separate ways and had positive experiences. So, what’s their secret?
Secrets to Having a Positive Divorce
As a divorce law firm, we want our clients to have positive divorce experiences, even if it’s with someone they no longer love and respect. Is it possible? Absolutely, but it takes work, especially mental work on both sides. You see, in order to achieve a good divorce, it’s vital that both spouses set their differences aside and treat each other with dignity and respect throughout the divorce process and afterward, especially if they have children. If you and your spouse can do that, your chances of having one of those positive divorces that everyone envies are much greater.
Here’s our advice on turning this dream into a reality:
- Right now, set your differences aside and decide to treat your spouse with respect, and kindly ask him or her to do the same.
- Do not change your status on Facebook from “married” to “single” until your divorce is final. Doing so could anger your spouse and disrespect your marriage.
- Avoid airing the details of your divorce to acquaintances. Not only could it get back to your spouse and anger them, but it’s not necessary.
- If you have children, do not badmouth their other parent. This only hurts your children in the long-run and complicates your divorce when it gets back to your spouse.
- Be flexible with your spouse about watching the kids when they have to work or attend an important event and ask them to do the same. Besides, it’s bonus kid time!
- Unless domestic violence is an issue, invite your soon-to-be-ex to your children’s sporting events and other activities.
- If you want to date before the divorce is final, discuss this possibility with your attorney beforehand.
It’s very important for divorcing spouses to remember that divorce is more or less a business transaction. It may be very emotional, but it’s actually about property division more than anything else. So, treat it like any other business transaction, and this includes treating the other side (in this case your spouse) with respect throughout the process. If you and your spouse can succeed at this one thing, you’ll likely to be on the road to a good divorce.